Tuesday, July 01, 2003
hello... here i am again...i am gonna complaine to u... i am really...urgh.... feli is so str8. she doesnt like me. wat the hell is j talking about sia??? i am not needed. neither am i wanted. i am only her frend. she needs me in tt way. she wants me in tt way. i have nothing tt i can offer to her. i am not rich. i am not pretty. she can do much better. and i would be a horrible frend if i pursue this any further.
but the sad part of it all is tt all i just wanna do is to love her and show to her tt i do love her. this fri nite i am gonna crash at her place. i wodner wat will happen. i so badly want to tell her so she will stay away from me?? is tt the reason why i wanna tell her?? i dunno... but i do want to say some thing to her... i want to give her a hint tt i like her. n i m not one for mushiness. i can't like go n express my feelings just like tt. the best i can come up with is... feli... i like u. u wanna be my gurl? tts abt it. but today we kinda had a talk about lesbianism. she ask me how do les ppl do it? then i say most of the ppl i know dun do it. they share a relationship tt does not involve sex. then she ask me why they cant just be frens? then i say tt they have feelings and are attracted to each other which is why they can never be frends. tt is how i feel. i can never just be frends with her. frends dun think sick thoughts about each other. i catch myself checking her out. gosh. its so frustrating. urgh!!! i still want to kiss her. think tmr i will not touch her as much. i shall let her touch me. i think she likes me when im girlie. she seems all touchy when i am girlie. i shall make an effort to be more girlie tmr. yes i wiill!!!!!
k i gtg...nat want me call her... see ya...
--insignificant lies--
12:44 am